


Short and to the Mr. Pointy - Season 5

by Redrikki



Series: Short and to the Mr. Pointy [5]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 03:17:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3834985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redrikki/pseuds/Redrikki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of older Buffy drabbles set in season 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down to Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aliens should mean phasers set to deep fry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the [Open_on_Sunday](http://open_on_sunday.livejournal.com/) challenge 'unusual weather' on March 13, 2006.

Down to Earth  
Xander  
Season Five-Listening to Fear

Life in Sunnydale had always been like a bad horror film, but one meteor shower and suddenly it’s the Scoobies vs. the snot monster from outer space. Now, Xander loved cheesy sci-fi as much as the next Klingon-speaking Trekie, but this guy didn’t even have the decency to be a real alien. No, it was just another demon and they’d probably just hunt it down and stab it repeatedly with something sharp. All in all, it was sort of a let down. Alien invasions should mean phasers set to deep fry, but instead it’s just the usual; bodies and research.


	2. Down to Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joyce was a little gun-shy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the [Open_on_Sunday](http://open_on_sunday.livejournal.com/) challenge 'awkward cupid' on February 7, 2006.

Just Checking  
Joyce  
Season Five-I Was Made to Love You

Joyce would be the first to admit that she’d been a little gun shy relationship wise. After all though, between the heartache that was Hank and the overwhelming terror that was Ted, who could blame her? But she’d just bounced back from cancer and was ready to grab life by its hopefully non-demonic horns, hence Brian. He seemed nice. She’d seen him in the sunlight and he hadn’t set off Buffy’s slayer sense. As they geared up for the goodnight kiss there was only one thing left to check.

“You’re not a robot serial killer, right?”

“Ah...no.”

“Okay, good.”


	3. Caerbannog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caerbannog isn't funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the [Open_on_Sunday](http://open_on_sunday.livejournal.com/) challenge 'first time' on May 8, 2006.

Caerbannog  
Anya  
Early Season Five

After Xander had forced her to watch, Anya had to admit those Monty Python boys knew funny. Humorous dismemberment, impromptu cannibalism, pure comic genius. There was just one thing she didn’t like.

“Look out, it’s Caerbannog!”

Anya yelled really high and leapt atop the table. She held her book threateningly aloft and scanned the shop for any sign of the psychotic little fluffer but all she saw was Willow’s laughing face. “Xander, she’s mocking my phobia again,” she complained.

“Seriously Will, cut it out,” reprimanded Xander without even looking up from his research. “It was barely funny the first time.”


	4. Blow to the Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was willing to die for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the [Open_on_Sunday](http://open_on_sunday.livejournal.com/) challenge 'dizzy' on June 12, 2006.

Blow to the Head  
Xander  
Season Five-Triangle

She was willing to die for him, and that was so romantic it was making Buffy cry. It was making Xander a little misty eyed too, but he could chalk that up to the broken arm. He’d had people die because of him and had people threaten to die of him, but no one, not even Willow, had ever before volunteered to die for him. It was exhilarating, heartwarming and kind of terrifying to be loved that much. Xander gazed at his girl and swayed with emotion. He was dizzy and knew that was love, and not the concussion, talking.


	5. Unreal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't for Dawn, would they have found the cancer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the [Open_on_Sunday](http://open_on_sunday.livejournal.com/) challenge 'dizzy' on June 13, 2006.

Unreal  
Joyce  
Season Five through Listening to Fear

It wasn’t something she’d noticed, a twinge here, some vertigo there, and she’d just take some Aspirin and vow to stay better hydrated. It wasn’t until the morning Joyce was fixing her little Jelly-belly breakfast and found a strange glowing girl in her kitchen that she even knew something was wrong. Now she lay waiting for surgery gazing at the shiny, swirly thing that was her youngest daughter and tried to smile. Joyce supposed it could be worse. Sure, her little girl was actually a mystical key, but if Dawn had been real they might never have found the cancer.


	6. New Season Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xander's sick of being a butt-monkey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the [Open_on_Sunday](http://open_on_sunday.livejournal.com/) challenge 'puppets' on September 26, 2006.

New Season Resolutions  
Xander  
Season Five- Buffy Vs. Dracula

Xander generally considered himself strong willed, stubborn even, but all it took was one smoldering look from the Dark Ma– Dracula, from Dracula, and suddenly he’s eating bugs, betraying friends, and making a bigger ass of himself than usual. Why did this stuff keep happening to him? Did he have “victim” tattooed on his forehead or was it because he was the comedic sidekick? Well, it ended now. No more victim, no more demon magnet, no more butt-monkey puppet guy. Yeah, they’d see how long it took the Scooby lifestyle to nullify that resolution. Xander was betting about five minutes.


	7. Labor Disputes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harmony sucked at this leadership thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the [Open_on_Sunday](http://open_on_sunday.livejournal.com/) challenge 'strike' on June 5, 2007.

Labor Disputes  
Harmony  
Season 5-The Real Me

Spike had made it look so easy, but running a gang was, like, totally hard work. There was a lot more to it than smoking cigarets and yelling at people. You had to plan stuff and keep everyone happy and towing the line, but that big jerk Mort kept making trouble. Here Harmony was, trying to plan her assault on the Slayer, and he was all distracting and stuff. This plan really needed to work. Mort was undermining her leadership and she didn’t want her minions to go on strike or something. She so didn’t feel like making new ones.


	8. Captain America

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was crazy, lone-wolf macho bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [ prompt 058 'Riley' on March 28, 2008.](http://still_grrr.livejournal.com/)

Captain America  
Xander  
Season 5 - Out of My Mind

It was crazy lone wolf macho bullshit. If Xander had pulled a stunt like that he’d be read the riot act, but Riley does it and it’s rather reckless and sort of convenient because he’s what? Buffy’s big, tough soldier boy? Captain freakin’ America? Expendable? He knows self-destruction when he sees it even if the other Scoobies don’t, and he’s worried. He doesn’t have enough guy friends that he can afford to lose one and Riley is clearly on his way down. Being precepto-boy really sucks. All Xander can do is watch since he can’t figure out how to catch.


	9. Shrimp-less

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olaf doesn't make it to the land of trolls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [ prompt 061 'crackfic' on April 17, 2008.](http://still_grrr.livejournal.com/)

Shrimp-less  
Olaf  
Season 5 - Triangle

Olaf did not awake in the land of the trolls. He awoke to the sound of hushed and frightened voices. “What is it?” “Is it dead?” “Don’t poke at it!” The voices said.

 _Ah, foolish townspeople,_ Olaf thought, _soon I will pillage your homes and make merry sport with your more attractive daughters_. Then he opened his eyes and saw the crowd of giant, talking fruit and knew there would be no merry sporting here.

***

 

Olaf licked the juice from his fingers and tossed away the young peach’s pit. The fruit-children weren’t babies, but he was learning to adjust.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written between 2005 and 2008.


End file.
